Friendships can shape your teenage years in powerful ways, but not all friendships are healthy. Some feel fun at first, then slowly become draining, confusing, or even toxic. It’s easy to overlook warning signs when you’re caught up in a bond that feels important. But trust matters, and so does your peace of mind. If a friend consistently makes you feel worse instead of better, it’s worth paying attention. Here are 10 red flags teens shouldn’t ignore in any friendship.
1. They always make it about them
You try to talk about your day, but somehow it always circles back to them. Every conversation becomes a stage for their stories, their problems, and their wins. If a friend rarely asks how you’re doing or doesn’t seem to care when you talk, that’s not balance, it’s self-centeredness. Friendship should be a two-way street, not a spotlight for one. If you’re always the listener but never the heard, it might be time to rethink things.
2. They put you down as a joke
Teasing can be fun, until it’s not. If your friend constantly makes fun of you, even when you ask them to stop, that’s a red flag. Saying “I’m just kidding” doesn’t erase the sting. Whether it’s about your looks, interests, or personality, jokes that make you feel small aren’t friendly, they’re low-key mean. True friends don’t hide insults behind humor. They lift you, not chip away at your confidence, especially in front of others.
3. They only show up when they need something
You barely hear from them until they need a favor. Whether it’s homework help, a ride, or emotional support, they pop up only when it benefits them. Real friendship isn’t about using people as a backup plan. If you’re giving your time, energy, or support and getting nothing back, that’s not a friendship, it’s a one-sided arrangement. If they vanish when you need them, you’re not their priority; you’re just their convenience.
4. They gossip about other friends
It might feel harmless at first, even entertaining. But if your friend constantly talks badly about others, chances are they’re talking about you, too. Gossip is a trust-breaker. If someone is always in drama or spreading rumors, it shows they value attention more than loyalty. Ask yourself, do you feel safe around this person? If not, it’s a red flag. Healthy friendships are built on trust, not whispers behind someone’s back.
5. They compete with you
A little friendly competition is okay, but it turns toxic when your wins make them bitter or jealous. If your friend always tries to outdo you, copies everything you do, or downplays your achievements, they’re not cheering for you; they’re keeping score. Friendship isn’t a contest. You should be able to celebrate each other’s success without feeling like you’re in a silent rivalry. Real friends support you, not secretly wish you’d fail.
6. They make you feel guilty
If your friend constantly says things like “I guess I just don’t matter to you,” or “You’ve changed” anytime you have other plans, that’s emotional manipulation. Guilt-tripping isn’t about caring, it’s about control. It makes you question your actions even when you’ve done nothing wrong. Friendships should give you space, not make you feel like you owe someone your time 24/7. If you walk away feeling bad more than you feel good, take notice.
7. They cross your boundaries
You set a boundary, and they ignore it. Maybe you asked them not to share something private or not to joke about a personal topic. If they keep crossing that line, it shows a lack of respect. Even small boundaries matter. Real friends listen and adjust. If someone makes you feel guilty or dramatic for speaking up, it’s a sign they don’t value your comfort. Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re rules for mutual respect.
8. They bring constant drama
There’s always something going on: fights, rumors, crying over texts, group chats blowing up at midnight. Every hangout turns into a therapy session or conflict resolution meeting. If one friend is constantly pulling you into their drama, it gets exhausting. You don’t need to feel like a babysitter or fixer. Life is already stressful enough. A friendship that drains your energy every time isn’t worth keeping just to avoid conflict.
9. They make you feel less than
Pay attention to how you feel around them. Do you shrink yourself? Do you stay quiet to avoid judgment? A friend who makes you feel small, insecure, or unworthy, even without saying anything directly, is not someone who brings out your best. You deserve to feel accepted for who you are, not pressured to fit their version of cool. A good friend helps you feel seen, not invisible or inferior.
10. You’re afraid to be honest with them
If you can’t speak up when they hurt you, disagree with something, or even share how you feel, there’s a problem. Real friendships create space for honesty, not fear. If you’re scared they’ll get mad, leave, or twist your words, it means the foundation isn’t solid. You shouldn’t have to censor your thoughts just to keep peace. A true friend may not always agree with you, but they’ll never make you afraid to be real.
